CONTENTS:
Introduction:
Discussing Wisdom
————
Reflections:
Power
Fear
Revenge
Reality vs. Fantasy
Re-wiring
Curses, Hexes, Jinxes & Bad Luck
Investigation
Quality
Presence
Confidence
Being In Love
Honesty and Sexuality
Chinese Whispers / Broken Telephone
Change
Backstage
The Moon
Abuse
Impressionism
Conviction
Futility
‘Magnetics’
On Earth As it Is In Heaven
Wishing
Clarity
Testing, Testing, One, Two, Three…
Rights
————
Closure
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INTRODUCTION:
Discussing Wisdom
There are a great deal many things in life that are elusive, or not as they might seem. Take the light of the moon for instance: what appears to our eyes as an illuminated orb, lit from within and radiating an ethereal glow, is nothing but a ball of rock reflecting the light of our galaxy’s biggest star. From here on, the list of these examples is so vast that it’s not worth the attempt to list them all here, but there is one hidden facet of our existence which cannot be left without discussion when approaching a contemplation about what wisdom truly is.
In the English language, there are also many words which describe the same thing, in many instances. Whilst some of them add or diminish a particular descriptive slant, there are those which are simply used as better grammar or meaning, in the same fashion as poetic prose is used to artistically relay a story or idea. But there are sometimes words which can mean two separate things, yet which can be amalgamated with other words and mean the same thing. In some cases, however, the effect of this unity would depend greatly on the perception or understanding of the reader or listener. The word ‘perception’ is arguably one of those words, which could be accepted as meaning ‘experience’, because it is also arguable that without a particular life experience of something, something else could be perceived in an entirely different way.
All of this leads me to analyse what wisdom is reliant on in order for it to be a holistic existential quality. My conclusion has settled on the word and quality that I believe could reasonably and acceptably used in place of the word ‘wisdom’, and that is the word ‘strength’.
The main reason that I believe in strength being the foundation of wisdom, is because of one of the greatest paradoxes and contradictions that I have discovered in my own application of wisdom as I perceive it: wisdom can often be unwise. When I say unwise, I draw attention to the state of something being ‘otherwise’ as in contrary or ‘anti-clockwise’ as a basic reference.
It is most often that we find the obvious after revolution. How often have you turned the house upside down to find your car keys which were in your pocket? In an instance like that, it can be argued that the strength present in that activity is a need, like needing to get somewhere for an important reason.
Necessity is the fuel of strength, the drive behind the need for strength. This is what gives birth to the will, which in turn is reliant on strength. Without a need, there is no will, and without will, there is no active strength. In summation, without a need, there is no wisdom. This suggests that wisdom is naturally inherent within everybody because as creatures of survival, we express the need to survive on a daily basis by the activities in our lives, both fundamental or mundane as well as spiritual.
The call for strength on its own, in any sense, might not necessarily call for wisdom as sometimes we are faced with circumstances that leave us no choice but to endure and survive them or perish. But without strength, it is unlikely that wisdom can ever surface, and it is rare that considerations of strength are not involved in wise choices. This is often because the wisest choices that we ultimately make are often through us being presented with the most difficult choices, and these choices most likely involve the presence of some sort of harmful temptation.
Many a dieter will comprehend this when the word ‘chocolate’ is mentioned, a smoker or alcoholic attempting to quit when a cigarette or drink is offered etc. In those instances, it will take tremendous willpower in order for the tempted to forego the temptation. But it is also important to consider the underlying impulse that is responsible for the need for those decisions. It is true that the awareness of health, happiness and survival will be present in the life of anyone attempting these arduous seeming sacrifices, but unless a person has even a small amount of true self-worth, which buds directly from the soils of self-love, there is no attempt to make these life-altering changes in the first place. In fact, it is often the lack of self-love that drives people to try and destroy themselves in the most sense-indulgent manners. The physical senses become the focus because the spiritual senses are unwakened or numbed.
As a result of this consideration, it can then be argued that whilst stength and wisdom can be two separate things, the element that unites them into the same thing is balance.
Yet, even with the balance present, wisdom can take the form of the shadow that it casts of itself, much like moderation in all things is good, including moderation. It can be as difficult to grasp as is faith, which requires our employment of it without ever having known it before in order to know it without previous recognition of it.
That is also what wisdom is: an innate recognition of the best choice with a balanced awareness of the effects of the presence and the absence of strength. This is why it is not always wise to be wise in our choices. A truly wise person will understand that sometimes wisdom is not wisdom depending on circumstance. In the same way that experience colours perception, circumstance decides what is wise and what is unwise.
The word ‘master’ or ‘mastering’ has always eluded me. I don’t believe that any person who claims to be wise or a master can honestly believe that they can ever (in writing or in speech) impart the entirety of truth, because in truth, we never stop learning or encountering new lessons until the day life leaves us. Perhaps the greatest wisdom, particularly in my perception, is that truth is as personal as is the application of wisdom, because we are all different, and so are the varied life lessons that we each encounter.
When I decided to call this writing ‘Mastering Wisdom’, it was not intended to mean exactly what it appears, because the controversy in that concept is enough to make it memorable (hopefully), and what is memorable is often effective. It’s important to understand that the best anyone can hope for between now and the end of life is to get a handle on wisdom, in an as advanced manner as individually strived for. There is no mastering of this subject, because it is an ever-changing aspect of life. Whilst it has constants and universal similarities, it is personal and creative. It can be invented and re-invented, and it can even contradict itself at different times in our lives.
There are many people who are fascinated by the subject of wisdom, many who profess to have it whilst showing the exact opposite, and those who exude it with a modesty that defies it’s volume within their actions. Whatever the case, it is a sought after quality, and indeed a very necessary one for our survival.
I have always been told that I am wise. Sometimes I definitely betray that perception, but I am only a human being. Nevertheless, my musings and reflections on life have never been private, and in this writing I share some insights, opinions and experience through my own hard falls and knocks, as well as through some of the magic I have encountered in life. It is willingly shared with any who will encounter it and find it of any value.
REFLECTIONS:
Power
Power makes people stupid, and therefore it is those with less power in the world who are wisest and most insightful. To be powerful in the world means only as much as the value that others, who are fickle and ultimately only thinking of themselves, are willing to place on that position/power.
Worldly power is an illusion based on the receptivity of either the power-hungry, or the blindly accepting – it feeds on itself and therefore loses force resulting in extremism, stubbornness and decay. The truest form of earthly sovereignty is, however, personal power – the freedom within to know that the ultimate force besides love is the strength to let go in the knowledge that forces greater than anything will always make the final decision – no matter what one believes or does not believe. The elements are a perfect physical example of this.
True wisdom and true power are in the knowledge that without the equality of others, there is no sense of actual self and therefore to claim power over others is an act of self-denial.
The instances of using a position of hierarchy to effect changes that are for the benefit of others is not actually power at all. It’s actually mutual benefit. No-body who desires changes for the betterment of others should regard them-self as powerful – only free…
Fear
It is said that fear is fear itself. In this context, this implies that fear cannot feed on anything but itself and therefore to be free from fear is to be free from fear. I have found this to be untrue. Somebody else’s fear can still very much affect my life even if I am free of fear personally.
Fear is possibly the best friend I have ever had – a guide who’s warnings and blatant honesty have alerted and steered me from much harm. There is nothing weak or imbalanced about the expression and harbouring of fear. The problems arise when fear is manufactured by the subconscious in a bid to fill some void provisionally primed by guilt or uncertainty over the self. This is what is labeled ‘paranoia’ and ‘anxiety’, the root of which (when not a serious medical condition) is most often caused by an abject desperation that one will have no power in one’s own life if everything does not become about themselves in some way. As a result, perceptions become reality for not only the paranoid individual, but also for the individuals around them as a result of projection and transference. False fear is just as much holographic as the illusion of time and space.
Perceived fear is the enemy, as this sort or ‘fear’ is self-centered and emanates purely from insecurities within individuals who, rather than attempting to discard the illusion, attempt to redefine the world around them as being within the same encapsulation. Fake substance causes fake emotion. Fake self-love causes ego and fake acceptance is the precursor to denial. There can be no freedom and no self-worth within the realms of false judgment. Perceived fear is concerned only with ‘me’ and not ‘everyone’.
Real fear is an emissary. It is the pain in my body that frightens me into a check-up at the doctor, or the threat of me losing my possessions in a bid for me to begin to appreciate the things that I really would not wish to lose. It does not know self-centeredness because – like a true friend – it will sacrifice being loved and seen in a welcomed light in order to do what is best for what it loves.
No man, ideally, should have endure trauma in life by way of another man’s personal concept of pain. That is what is termed as ‘enforcement’, even if passively so done. Of all the culprits I have encountered, this sort of pain has it’s roots in the distant past – programming which outlives the concept of the time it was manifested in. Instead of passive enforcement, there should be confrontation of it.
I honour fear, and I acknowledge the love, concern and guidance it has given me. Fear and I are as one. To give love to others, I need to love myself first. Otherwise, I will never know what it is I should actually be feeling for, or giving them.
Revenge
Of all the addictions in life, I have come to a conclusion that revenge is the most challenging and life-altering of them all. The reason for this is that I now believe wholeheartedly that revenge is not something that someone does, but something that someone inherently is.
Everybody on this planet has an addiction of some sort. Some of them are mundane or harmless like the use of a favourite word in every single sentence or being gripped by an ongoing T.V. show. But whilst some people count calories, there are others who count reasons. Whilst some people avert the craving and channel the energy into something productive or healthy, there are those who lose sleep at night with the burning itch to get back at someone or something. It is human nature to be attached to things – it is after all in our genetic rearing and programming by the very fact that we are born as extensions of other human beings and that sets an invisible bond whether appreciated, or not so.
I’ve come to see that one of the greatest weaknesses that people possess is the lack of restraint in accepting situations outside of their control – ones that happen ‘to’ them without their choice. I only say that this is weakness because of how I have, in my own life, seen the damage that has been done in the past by an over-active desire for ‘justice’. But Justice is a very precarious word to use in the same sentence as Revenge because the one is ‘fat-free’ and the other one is piled with ‘carbs’ which are nearly impossible to lose (if not taking a whole lifetime to do so).
Revenge never, never ever gets more satisfying. It is the same as any drug or fixation – the hit is only as satisfying as the next hit, because the more you do it, the more unfulfilled it leaves you and the more you desire to fill that space – which most usually is something that the self is not providing itself.
To say goodbye to something that you have loved more than yourself can tear your soul apart, and we mostly consider people who achieve it as either very strong or coldly uncaring. But today I contemplate what the greatest strength is. I believe it is the self-control and self-appraisal necessary to abstain from ‘getting someone back’. There is no need because time and time again, Karma is proven to believers of it and disbelievers of it alike. Whatever intention is sent out, is returned back three-fold because of the energy momentum of circular existence. How do we know when we set out to avenge ourselves whether we are actually doing that or going against a plan we have no clue about? Are we always clear enough in enraged vision to see where and how we might have caused or deserved the incoming attacks?
Quenching the ego by seeing returned suffering always comes at a price to the person issuing the punishment if it is done out of revenge instead of justice. The truth is that justice is always done – even if we don’t always have the opportunity to be around to witness it. Revenge IS the biggest lie in existence. There is no such thing as revenge, only self-harm. The most challenging fact that I have learned in these instances is that the only thing that can quell feelings of hatred and revenge are faith and trust that justice will be done. Unfortunately, the most vengeful people have always been those who deny faith and cannot be trusted themselves.
I’ve just come through the most momentously difficult period of my whole life. I’ve spent months white-fisted and biting my tongue with many reasons and opportunities to have avenged myself. I didn’t think I would be able to do it and sit here today with love and forgiveness in my heart. I have, but forgiveness and wisdom go hand in hand. I may not believe in revenge, but I also do not agree with ‘forgive and forget’. Forgiving is necessary for a happy life. Forgetting and allowing another chance for relentless energy to destroy is beyond foolish. No revenge, only love from a distance.
Reality vs. Fantasy
My whole life preceding this day was constantly filled with the teaching that everything is a choice – including the choice to see the choice in accepting the seeming lack of choice in certain situations. The choice of how to deal with situations and experiences that we have no direct power or control over warrants recognition for the freedom that affords us. It also kind of morphs the concept of choice into the concept of perception. The way we look at things is also definitely a choice, as is the way we choose to ‘see’ them.
I am a person who is very comfortable in the domain of the mind and the intellect. Thoughts are my actions in many ways, as they drive me to pragmatic commencement, whereas others who may term themselves as initially far more ‘practical’ just get on with it and do it. I truly fail to see any difference. Both thought and physical action are intrinsic to each other and therefore are both practical actions. One can perform a useless practical action just as much as one can have a bunch of useless and unproductive thoughts. In my school of thinking, I believe that anything that causes a similar result is a similar thing. Practically.
It makes my kidneys and my liver quiver when I hear people telling people to get their head out of the clouds. Of course, in some cases those people are implying that there is a lack of balance (in their coarse ways of communication), but the instances in which people demand a monopoly of practical physical action leaves me feeling very concerned. Necessity is the mother of invention – a necessity begins with a mental and physical recognition (thought/urge etc.) that something is missing. The mind contemplates this and sets to forming ideas about how to rectify it.
Daydreams are not fantasy, and neither is practical activity in the absence of forethought a beneficially lasting reality. The power in being able to visualize is far from some ‘new age’ concept. In fact, you cannot create a single thing (unless by sheer dumb luck) if you cannot think it and envisage it’s manifestation effectively and clearly.
I think all day long – it’s my most primal and frequent practical activity. It is my reality. I believe, through the evidence of experienced proof, that I can change my outer reality with the simple and vast power of the simplest of single thoughts. Maybe I do prefer my dessert before the main meal. Perhaps I’ll have the starter the next day. Eccentric, yes. Impractical and imbalanced? I don’t believe it for a second. I have never felt so strong and stable in my life – even in the face of apparent hopelessness. This is the power of thought, and this is the power of ‘fantasy’. Choices begin with thoughts – incredibly practical tools.
Re-wiring
It’s a known fact that mixed messages breed discourse. Faculties of education are built on this principle and this concept is even employed subliminally by companies in order to spark a subconscious interest in their products. Typically, we learn some of the most profound things during debate, especially when opposing arguments both hold equal merit. Dichotomy and paradox shape so many aspects of our existence and, on the conscious plane, often motivates us to learn and seek truth that we can assimilate, comprehend and use to shape our destinies.
The negative side of such discourse can be seen most typically in situations where acceptance of others is in question. For example, sending mixed messages to a potential suitor is bound to give rise to inner debates about the true intentions of that person, and whether that person thinks and feels the same way as the other person in the equation. One of the greatest pitfalls of this is the habit of reading second meanings, innuendo and sarcasm into everything that is heard and read. Innocent people suffer misinterpretation by perception of those looking for alternate meaning and are subject to treatment that is misguided – even though there is no clear evidence that the person deserves that.
We don’t always have control over how others treat us, but we most certainly do have control over how we treat ourselves. One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned is the value of being alert and knowing myself inside out in order to prevent self-harm as much as possible. The crimes we commit on ourselves are often far worse than we are aware because of the delicate ‘ecosystem’ that is our consciousness.
There are three levels of the human mind:
- The conscious mind – where beliefs are tangible and changeable.
- The subconscious mind – where beliefs are more inaccessible and ingrained.
- The middle plane or ‘filter’ mind – where the sediment of information not accepted by the subconscious is left to rot as it sinks from the conscious after years of constant input.
Here is a typical list of conscious mind beliefs:
– I am better than everyone else because of my qualification
– I deserve more love than anyone else
– I don’t want to stop smoking
The middle mind is where all mixed messages and lies reside. Here is the list of classic middle mind inhabitants:
– I am nothing without my qualification
– I don’t deserve love
– I can’t stop smoking
Here is the same list in the subconscious mind:
– I live in a world where I am conscious of cultural and class difference and that makes me feel inferior. I don’t think very much of myself and therefore I need to make myself seem better than others so that I can get ahead.
– There is nothing in here but pain.
– Habit allows me to divert my attention from real issues which are more damaging to me than addictive substance.
What many people are not aware of is that with constant effort, the middle mind can be wiped clean and kept clean. But everyone knows that a stubborn stain is die-hard. This is why it is necessary to bypass the middle mind and affect the subconscious. Re-wiring subconscious programming can eliminate semi-conscious lies from our lives and heal us. Affirmations, sigil magick and hypnosis are employed by different people with different beliefs to great effect.
I still believe that there is only one real effective way to guard the subconscious and to keep life in balance. Eliminate hypocrisy. If you want others to stop planting lies into your head and your heart, stop lying to yourself. The subconscious sees us telling lies when we want the truth as us not being serious about finding truth. If you desire justice and peace, stop fighting with everyone. If you want to receive clear messages from other people and the universe, stop sending mixed messages to yourself. The subconscious mind is like the negative of a photograph. It thinks in the opposite to produce a balanced picture.
Curses, Hexes, Jinxes & Bad Luck
The advancement of technology in our present lives is currently creating what we perceived to be miracles only a few decades back. As a result, scientific confirmation of the nature of E.S.P., the holographic nature of the universe and recordable evidence of psychic ability are amongst these, heading swiftly on the way to leaving even the most hardened of skeptics at the risk of seeming ignorant by refusal of acceptance.
There are still, however, some uneven terrains of understanding between the serrations of scientific evidence and metaphysical proof. This is caused mainly by the fact that many of these phenomena – whilst perfectly logical and reasoned in explanation – are definable to the greatest part still only by factors of ‘belief’ and ‘supernatural’ accreditation. The main point which stands in contempt of full scientific clarification is what we call ‘sympathetic universal attraction’. As a concept, this is defined as being the ability for all human beings to have the capacity to effect each other’s thought forms due to inter-connectivity. Because the variants of how these occurrences can differ, there is no one ‘proof’ that this is happening – only a general wakening awareness of synchronicity. For example, I belong to a family of mostly air signs. Philosophy and thinking a-rife – there is much mental energy and the activity of telepathy is evident everyday. We are confirmed of this, yet we cannot claim this as scientific fact. Lovers who have been together for a long time or are highly compatible notice that they are able to finish each other’s sentences and often think the same things at the same time. This is an example that cannot be discarded as ‘habitual expectancy’ because this also happens with people who have just met, and this in fact is the determining factor of their unity. Mother’s have an innate intuition and primal connection to their children.
Everybody is psychic and was born to be psychic, as is confirmed by the mere presence of the pineal gland in the human brain. Between the ages of 17 and 18, this gland calcifies and closes off it’s ‘metaphysical’ function in most people and is often unaccredited for the chaos and havoc it causes. Instead, the late teenager difficulties are all blamed on hormonal development. This is the case, yes, but what is often not understood is that there is also a major paradigm shift in the human consciousness. A primal function running quietly in the background of the human awareness suddenly stops, and there is a subconscious recognition of this but no conscious awareness. Everything begins to seem ‘unfair’ and ‘confining’ because the prior freedom of awareness ceases. Growing up is just as much about glands becoming calcified as it is about becoming disillusioned with people and life.
The de-calcification of this gland will return your innate birth-right (after about a week of tormentous migraines in some) and, if your belief in what is possible and your understanding of the changeability of reality allows, you will be instantly clairvoyant. Otherwise, you will just notice a marked improvement in your perceptions and your intuition.
Baudelaire wrote in a 17th century poem that basically a disbelief in the devil was the greatest power that the devil has. This was a reference to the idea that disbelief in truth is more dangerous than belief in lies. You cannot protect yourself from something if you are not aware of it’s potential power, and it is often shown that a simple disbelief is not protection at all.
Curses exist. They are very real and they are very destructive. In order to prevent and protect yourself from them, it is necessary to understand what each of them inherently is. Defining:
– Curse: A harmful wish upon your life, whether by yourself or someone else (usually both).
– Hex: A black magick binding set to cause a disruption in the benevolent energy flow of activity.
– Jinx: A personal belief that has grown into a distorted fact thereby becoming an obstacle to personal progress.
– Bad Luck: The result of an anomaly caused either by the above, your own actions, others actions, elemental influences or ‘karma’
Do you want to know if you have been cursed? Examine your life closely to determine whether you have upset, angered or offended someone. Did you try to offer sincere help but the person decided to view the attempt as condescending due to insecurity or/and pride? Did you make someone feel inferior unwittingly by being too passionate? Is there a lot of jealousy in your life? Do you find yourself often to be a reflector of what people do not wish to face in themselves? Are you constantly competing with people? All of these are sufficient evidence that you may be the ‘victim’ of a curse if your life is falling apart without seeming reason. This manifests as a result of a constant barrage of ill-intent wishes, cussing, slagging and badmouthing and resentment being fired in your direction (even at a distance) whether consciously or subconsciously. People often wish to blame others in a bid to hide from their own inadequacies. This usually manifests in ways that your conscious mind does not alert to, for example:
– Your marriage falls apart suddenly when you were perfectly happy.
– You become an ‘unlikely’ addict.
– You topple from the heights of a successful career and never seem to find your footing again.
– Doors slam in your face.
– The whole world seems to be better off than you.
– You are susceptible to intimidation and bullying.
– Everything you attempt turns to disaster, or is unsatisfying, or never seems to go anywhere.
– You have an obsession with the past and cannot let trivial things go.
– You constantly have headaches which destroy your concentration and thought trains (psychic attack enters the throat energy center of the neck and incubates in the brain)
These can all be side-effects and causes of low self-esteem brought on by a constant barrage of harmful wishes. Sympathetically, like attracts like and energy behaves in the way it is directed. Write a list of every name that you think you have hurt or offended, sincerely pray for their forgiveness, burn the list and let it go. Write a list of every name that has hurt you, sincerely forgive them, burn the list and let it go. Show love, compassion and courage in your life and think powerful and positive thoughts. You should soon start to see a reversal in your ‘fortune’ and that of those who have ‘binded’ you to them by their constant hatred. Forgive yourself. Do not return the attacks to where you feel or think they came from. Dissipate them and render them powerless in your life.
I believe that you cannot change your life without a decision, and that a decision relies on the fuel of belief. I don’t believe that you have to believe in anything specific except for the power of belief. You cannot protect yourself from something you don’t believe in. Ignorance is only ignorantly bliss. Even in Christian tradition is the belief that ‘God helps those who help themselves’.
To awaken your natural psyche is not dangerous or evil. Quite the opposite. It can bring awareness of the power everyone really does have in everyone else’s lives and, in conjunction with the recognition that what you do to others is returned to you, you can protect yourself from your own curses returning to your life. I believe that World Peace relies on a single key – unity of everyone in the power of belief and awareness.
Investigation
This is an excerpt from the final chapter of my book ‘Planetary Cryptography: Decoding the Universe Through Additive Divination’:
“There is a lot to be said for investigation. Funnily enough, and in a roundabout sort of way, corporations often employ this sort of practice as a subliminal control in order to procure more commercial success. A good example is when you go to your local or regular supermarket, targeting that item you went there specifically to buy. You know where it is, you know how to get there, you’ve done it a hundred times. But today, you turn into the aisle and almost instinctively reach your hand out to retrieve the item off the shelf and….there’s no shelf. It is now a counter. Or, if it is still a shelf, there are toys on it instead of chocolate etc. And now, you will have to go and scout out that original item you drove all the way to the supermarket for. But you realize that the toys you saw in the chocolate’s place are a bargain and that some smart early Christmas shopping might be a good idea, or during your search for the item (with no-one around for you to ask) you see a number of things you like and before you know it, you leave the supermarket with a trolley full instead of one item.
Contrived or not, a runaround can be very additive in your life. It certainly helps the supermarket’s cash register too, but the point is that (whether positive or negative) you gain things that you were not expecting to gain. If this happens through too much sugar we call it negative, but if this happens through not knowing what the future holds, we call it either positive or negative depending on what was gained. How many people would have loved to know that the ATM would be swallowing their debit card today or that if they did listen to their intuition and get that lottery ticket, the chances would have been excellent for a win – even if a humble one?
Product advertisement is prediction in it’s most primal form. Actually, it is ‘mojo’ in it’s most potent form too. The company actually decides how successful this product is going to be for them by how they follow rules and regulations as to what makes something sell and which demographic audience will respond to it best. They see a vision of what they want to occur and they go about creating the result. Mostly, they get exactly what they wanted, because they followed a ‘golden mean’ formula – tried and tested for best results. When it doesn’t work, what is the most frequent cause for blame? Miscalculation.
‘Prediction’ has, in my view, suffered a very long and arduous exposure to the belief that it is some magical ability to show what has not already occurred, and to carry with it a sure-fire promise that what it shows will definitely occur. The truth is, we make predictions every day, just like the weatherman. We calculate judgments and experiences in our day-to-day life and apply them to forthcoming situations and see either what we would like to occur or what we would not like to occur and by that very means, we set about ensuring that the worst case scenario can be avoided.
So, when the belief exists that approaching an oracle in order to seek information is dangerous or misguided, I believe that what that belief is actually saying to us is that we are all dangerous and misguided because we are actually all oracles in our own lives. You think this dress will make you look bloated at the party tonight so you select a more ‘slimming’ one. You’ve predicted an outcome and acted on it before the event even had a chance to happen. Prediction is a choice, not a sin. If there is any transgression in the act, I believe it could only be through failing to recognize the responsibility necessary to ensure that, if you are administering the possible future to somebody, the person you are informing is totally in comprehension that the future is something they have always, and will always choose themselves – whether that be by making what they have faith will happen to occur through that unbending belief or not. It is the element of how everyone choosing their futures bears a direct influence on what we cannot change or control (because we are all truly connected) that is both the stalls and the stage for ‘Karmic Theatre’.
Perhaps it was not your choice for every single thing that happened in your future, but sometimes we are called to become responsible for the choices that other people make – and that only means that the future is always about choice. Sometimes it just isn’t your own. This does not mean that you do not have the choice as to how to deal with it.
In my dictionary, there are more than a few words that have been re-defined. This is not arrogance in my belief that I am special enough for the world to change for me. It is because I believe that the world is too special not to change for itself. The treasures and rewards that await us in the heart of things that we have damned as evil by lack of basic awareness often also hold the potential to make us spiritually richer than we ever dared to dream possible.
In my dictionary, the word ‘psychic’ means ‘homosapien’ In my dictionary, the word ‘investigation’ means ‘progress’. And in my dictionary, the word ‘prediction’ means ‘choice’. However, because the future is so open to change, the only thing that is certain is that if we extend the journey to the destination, whatever that may be, we can only take in more scenery instead of less (another word change in my dictionary is ‘scenery’ which means ‘wisdom’).
If a ‘homosapien’ is to ‘choose’, then they must ‘progress’ in order to do so.”
Quality
In my opinion, the most admirable and attractive quality in a human being is the desire to be of service to others and to want perfection so far as it is necessary for the happiness of the world. The most unattractive quality is the impulse for people to abuse and exploit such people out of misguided perception that people who care about others are weak and useful. There is nothing stronger than a desire in the human heart for the happiness of any being other than the self, and there is nothing weaker than a desire in the human heart for the welfare of only the self.
It’s often considered that quality is a preference to quantity. I’ve noticed in life that the attempted pursuit of the former by means of the latter is responsible for most nearly everything that hurts this planet. It’s called ‘greed’ in all it’s forms. The greed of power and money.
Materialism is not a transgression – we’re living on a material plane and we need the comforts and sustenance that it calls for. But when my quantity becomes responsible for someone else’s deteriorated quality, I consider the real destruction that can be excess.
You really do not have to be a Buddhist, Hippie or live in Mumbai in order to ‘believe’ in the scientifically proven existence of the seven power points of the body often called the chakras.
A greedy person who feels insecure and anxious without hoards of cash and material comforts will most frequently have an overactive base point and an inactive heart point and can easily alleviate this ‘prison’ and liberate themselves into being content with what they have and not needing excess at the expense of others by activating all the energy points so that there is balance. An overly attached, emotional and temperamental person can do the same for overactive heart and throat energy points.
Balanced energy means a balanced wellbeing, and that means contentment and real quality in life in the absence of things that cannot bring happiness even in a massive quantity.
Once your energy is balanced, your aura (again, not a ‘hippie’ thing but a scientifically recorded and photographable energy field) will expand and you will experience a loss of unnecessary fear, attachment, bitterness, resentment and unquenchable material thirst. This has even been recorded to have benefits in reducing illness. You will begin to enjoy and value life even when the coffers are coughing, and you will begin to feel the faith and serenity of mind necessary for attracting what you need for your survival and your happiness into your life.
Believe in your right and your possibility for happiness and give yourself (and therefore those you love and who most certainly love you) a large quantity of real quality and ultimate freedom.
Presence
Not all the darkness in the entire universe can extinguish the tiniest light. Sometimes you cannot see that light, because distance and density can mask it, just like your hand in front of your face in a thick fog or like stars or the sun behind storm clouds. Covering over truth does not kill it, it only obscures it. But every day of our lives we see the changing cycles of nature. Clouds part and night becomes day, and in that process, what has been hidden is amplified a thousand-fold. Perhaps, if we could see the plan or the future, we would understand that sometimes the obscurification of truth and light in the presence of darkness does not mean we are forsaken of the presence of that truth and light. In our pain of blindness, we fail to remember the incubation that takes place in nature. Before the birth of new life there most often comes the greatest pain.
The truth will never die, but is it’s full power reliant on the darkness which amplifies it? Where the dark is only a presence, the light is eternal. If we saw the light always, would we still perceive it as light?
This is also the nature of love. Its presence may go unnoticed unless there is no sacrifice. To strive for the ideal means to embrace also that which has no ideal, and use it towards the benefit of the sun.
Confidence
All of life works in code, actually. Subliminal messages travel between thoughts and words as much as particles and waves travel through space.
Of these codes, the most destructive are the altered definitions of states of being which are produced by negative emotions such as jealousy and false fear.
There is a difference between stubbornness and determination, and in the same way, there is a difference between truth and delusion.
Perhaps the greatest sufferer of misinterpretation is the vital state of existence in a human being which is necessary for a positive life – confidence. When confidence is misinterpreted by an onlooker as being arrogance, there is one of two realities:
- The ‘confident’ person in question is truly arrogant in their display of them-self believing that they are more capable than they clearly are not.
- The onlooker is jealous, threatened and insecure, resenting the abilities of the subject and of the opinion that they have no right to that confidence.
In this manner, much of our outward perception and communication is operated by silent re-coding which results in permanent degenerating belief.
Being confident does not rely on others approval of our worth. Confidence of our worth is imperative for other’s belief in us. Arrogance is as fake a cover-up to lack of self-confidence as ego is to a lack of true self-love.
The only way to minimize negative coding in life is to become what we truly want to see. Being confident in ourselves takes a recognition of our limitations, and being realistic about them, and then doing the necessary work to change and/or remove them.
In this sense, believing in your self-worth is insufficient . You must simply be your self-worth, and be proud to do so. The ultimate personal power is granted to those who have become free from the harmful re-coding of others in their lives. To believe is to need. To know is to be free from want.
Being In Love
This is one thing that you can never truly control. You can never successfully tell yourself that you don’t and nobody else’s reasons can make you stop. You may have to live with the reality and accept the fate and try to subdue how it feels but this is one thing you can’t brainwash out of yourself. Hypnosis may soften the blow, but the subconscious will always remember the attachment because of the spiritual power of the link. Denial makes it stronger and acceptance, in the absence of return, makes it harder. Catch 22. The heart does not possess a brain. It has no logic, it is not rational and it is impossible to fool because of the innocence that freedom from intellect brings it.
When you find yourself in love with somebody, it is how YOU are feeling that is the only matter – even if that feeling is causing you extreme pain. Other people and therefore even you may try to rationalize with your mind. If your mind changes, it does not mean that it isn’t still in your heart. If your heart changes, it was never in your heart in the first place.
Words are extremely transformative things – they are the containers of power. There is no single one word in all the universe that can destroy a SINCERE emotion. It is only emotions based half on thought that are alterable in this way. If you find yourself in love with somebody that you cannot be with or who, with great regret, does not share your attachment, there is absolutely only one way to survive. Dig deep within your heart and find the love that you have for yourself. Share it wisely – only with those who will not try to harm it. It will be one of those people one day who you were not expecting that will soak it in.
The only way to prevent your mind from lying to your heart is to know who you are, what you are worth and the reasons you are drawn to what attracts you. Let your heart tell your brain what love is.
Honesty and Sexuality
In the movie ‘Velvet Goldmine’, the character Curt Wild (Ewan McGregor) says something in an interview that basically if you tell people your sexual orientation, you have to back it up by proving it because you’ve advertised it. Well, frankly, I’ve never heard such a f&%=+ pile of s&&&%% b&&%= in all my whole life.
When I finally got out of my 12 year immigration ‘prison’, I found myself facing society again with more than trembling knees. I found that a lot had changed in me during all those years of no socialising or being in touch with people in a normal sense.
When I went to go and study in the music industry, it often times felt like I was going to study at a house party. One where I felt like the only guest who was a new resident on the block. It seems really important to people in that industry what your sexual orientation is. God would know why when lectures are designed to be about music and not sex education, per se.
If someone asks me about my personal life, I have two answers. One in my head saying ‘ none of your beeswax mate, on yer bike’ and the one from my lips which is called ‘honest reply to a question’.
I’m much happier and at peace these days after ‘normalizing’ back into society (vaguely), but if there is something which haunts me, it is the way you get treated if you either don’t lie, or if you don’t do something to ‘prove’ your honesty. Yes, “you’re lying, you just want to steal my job.” Nightmares.
Generally, I find myself to be one of the most tolerant and non-judgmental people on earth. Somebody really has to upset me to get me going. I’ve been called a pedophile, a copper/undercover agent, Christian, Hindu and bullied to the eyeballs for saying one thing and not doing what others expect saying that thing means. In fact, if I gathered all the experiences where my moral standards have gotten me into trouble I could write an encyclopedia.
I am a human being who doesn’t have to behave like, or do anything, that fits into anyone else’s paranoid and tired old stereotype, and as for bruised ego’s as a result of perceived rejection – I can’t reject anyone who isn’t available in the first place, or who wants something on the hush-hush because I don’t consider anything like that a practical advancement.
I can be perfectly honest about who I am without having to rattle my filthy mind out over the crowd and pretend that I’m all that bootay because no-one can use their imagination instead of engaging in false accusation.
Be whoever the hell you want! It’s all cool with me (if it harms none). I’ve had such a wide variety of people as friends the only thing they’ve had in common with each other is knowing me. But leave me the hell alone if I’m not what you want or expect me to be, like I do with you. My choice for self-respect and preservation is not an automatically unspoken judgment on anyone else. I’m a picky guy. I have GREAT taste. I just know exactly what I want…and I’m real.
Chinese Whispers / Broken Telephone
Anyone remember playing a game called either of the two titles? Very young children still play this game at parties along with musical chairs, and it is also used as a team building and point proving exercise by companies to illustrate and pre-empt what happens when an advertising slogan is ineffectively ambiguous or what happens by word of mouth – desirably or disastrously alike.
It can be quite hilarious to group a variety of foreigners together – especially with broad accents – and observe how an English phrase comes out at the other end of the queue. Of course, this sort of exercise (entertaining or not) is a very natural process which occurs by sheer accident or time-stretched distortion.
This is not the same in the instance of something like gossip. The contortions that take place in that process are sometimes quite inadvertent, but in some cases they are designed to be purposeful. A very poignant illustration is given by the late Philip Seymour Hoffman in the 2008 film ‘Doubt’, in which he tells the story of a pillow being torn and all the feathers being strewn to the wind. The feathers are illustrative of the lies and misinformation told about someone through gossip and how when one tries to take the gossip back – there is no way of finding out where all those feathers have blown away.
Whatever the case, scandals and intrigues make some people’s day – honestly, I’ve known bushels of people who can’t seem to live without them. For many it’s a form of recreation, as in, everyone does it so it’s expected and ‘harmless’. On one side of town you chopped the horses head of in the picture you took on your iPhone and by the time it reaches the other, you’re a bloody axe brandishing horse slayer ( thank you Jonathan Creek). You’ll never stop some people from doing it and it’s no use even trying. Often when people discover something you disagree with, they get right to making sure they supply you with a hefty dose of it. This is in my view extremely unattractive about human nature when it’s done vindictively, but nevertheless, it’s done all the same.
There is a much worse kind of gossip and crossed wire messaging system, however, which causes the absolute and ultimate harm. This is the inner chatter and vague recollections of a person who allows a memory of something, or a belief to distort over time and become either more powerful than it should be or completely exaggerated, thereby causing it to become a stumbling block.
There are extremes in all people for each of the five elements. Over-emotional people (water), over materialistic people (earth), over temperamental people (fire), over intellectual people (air) and spiritual extremists. Aside from the imbalance of energy points in the human body, so too are inaccurate memories and beliefs responsible for extremism and debilitating thought and energy.
As a human being, you have many beliefs, opinions, and some emotional and psychological baggage in your life which stemmed from many, many years ago. Do you remember them all accurately? Have they changed into something else through your years of journey through life? Do they serve you well? Are they necessary and is the past as important as now? Perhaps today you will join me in this exercise, perhaps you won’t, but I’m going to be writing a list of everything that harms my life, and I’m going to attempt to trace it back to it’s source to discover if it was in fact actually the same thing back then that it has become now.
If we do not keep an open heart, we can destroy our future by the rumours and gossip we started within ourselves yesterday.
Change
For some people, this is the most difficult and impossible challenge. It is ironic actually, because so much of life is dependent on it. For instance, with no change there is no growth, and with no growth there is no advancement and therefore no opportunity for increased prosperity. On the other hand, if change occurs at a time when prosperity is at it’s height, there is the threat of that prosperity crumbling and coming undone if that change is not beneficial.
It is also ironic that the point of meditation and inner reflection – which is aimed at dealing with change and with considering changes necessary for happiness – is all about absolute concentration and focus, and not changing that focus.
But this is actually the nature of the universe we live in. The things we fear are often the shadows of the lights and guidance we choose to follow, or that encourage us to pursue them. Even the antiserum for a deadly snake bite is found within the lethal venom itself. It will often be found that in order to embrace what we love, we must face what we hate. It’s like having to get a painful anesthetic injection at the dentist so that you don’t have to feel any pain. Often what seems contradictory is actually quite supportive when things are put in perspective.
Everything changes, and yet nothing changes. The ultimate paradox is that the only thing that is a constant is alteration in the energies of our existence. It is considered in reflection today that the people who are the most afraid of change are only so because of the negative associations and experiences that they have had with it so far. Try not changing your underwear for a week and see how change feels then! The reason I say this is because I consider change to be a lot like faith – undeniably the most powerful and transformative experience in our consciousness. Faith is another great paradox. It requires you to have it in order to know it, and yet it does not show itself to you unless you can recognise it without ever having encountered it before.
In this way, the people who have lost faith or ‘supposed’ no faith are indeed those who have had it and let go of it through a number of reasons ranging from misinterpreting what the faith was put into, to failing to recognise a mere test of that faith. Change comes most often to challenge our ways of thinking and to present us with a priceless gifts which we sometimes fail to see completely in our panic – choice, options and freedom. Perhaps it is the surface appearance of these gifts which do not immediately look so appealing. Perhaps on the surface a sudden change can seem like an imminent job loss or status change that someone is really dependent on or accustomed to. But following that change and allowing the universe to act with our full trust (faith) might lead us to a position or status better than we could have ever imagined if we had taken the leap. What one has to ask one’s-self is what is more valuable? The comfort and security of the tried and tested or the life-long regret and wondering over what better things may have entered our lives?
Controversially, I do not believe that faith and religion are united – in the purist and empirical sense. I believe that faith is something that must be constantly tested, and there is no opportunity for this in it’s most ultimate capacity when it sits within the comfortable confines of a constant and steady dogmatic system of set beliefs. A test of true faith cannot really occur within any environment of surety or complacency. You cannot actually (realistically) trust someone if you control them all the time and don’t give them any freedom to show and prove their trustworthiness. I believe that changing one’s beliefs often not only opens one up to the possibilities of what is actually possible ( the multi-dimensional and faceted nature of reality), but also celebrates and consolidates a connection with the Divine (which even in agnostic terms could be defined as the connection and awareness that one has with the self, if that is the preference there).
To constantly turn and show your trust and faith within the same frame means reaffirming that trust and faith constantly but does not indicate any true advancement from within that frame. Safety and security are then mistaken for faith and trust. Let me put it this way. A person who is extremely attached to materialism is a prisoner of that materialism because without it, the attachment would be broken and they would be exposed and vulnerable. Sometimes life has a way of bringing that difficult change as a lesson for any given deemed reason.
To be free from constants means freedom, awareness, empowerment and the ultimate gratitude that a human being can show whatever source they believe is responsible for their existence. Perhaps if our religious terminology of faith was less defined and our more spiritually understanding nature of it was more emancipated, we would no longer be prone to the fear of change because life would have no need to present it surprisingly or unexpectedly. Is it not better to be able to choose how to evolve and transcend rather than have our stability and sanity ripped up from under us? I believe that when we have the intelligence and depth to understand this, we also are afforded divine trust in our ability to make the right choices.
The only constant is change. It is our safety net. Freeing ourselves from what makes us comfortable enables us to find ultimate comfort and resilience to fear. It replaces all weakness with strength. Sometimes going without helps us appreciate the value of going within. Attachment and need vs. freedom and peace. The real question for consideration is: Which lesson is more valuable, the one which test us on how we survive the changes that we do not initially embrace, or the one which gives us the freedom to change what we would not normally want to give up voluntarily?
Backstage
There are many idioms that ponder and illustrate the consideration of how silent and unseen things in this world are responsible for progress and enlightenment. This is, once again, simply a reflection of nature. We can’t see amoebas with the naked eye, but as a part of a balanced ecosystem, they have their purpose – whether beneficial or harmful. It is claimed that behind every successful man is a woman (using for example only and not claiming agreement or disagreement), and you’ll even find in the theater that very often, some of the greatest stars of the show are barely credited or recognized for their work – the backstage and technical crew. This world runs on silence and invisibility. The seen and the heard are by-products of the toils and endurance of a quiet latency.
Eastern philosophy has long recognized that the master and the student are one, because without the silence of observation, there can be no teaching. Without the shelter necessary during creation and evolution there can be no form, as form is only recognized once it can be determined and perceived. The silence has and always will be an imperative part on the process of the sound of life.
Ideally, but even more so actually (though often not considered or recognized), leadership and authority also accept that they are products of the unseen and the unheard. Without the peasants and subjects of court, there can be no kingdom for majestic governance. Any idol with nothing but flowers at it’s feet is nothing but a slab of stone. It is actually the real-time process of a leader learning about the ‘flock’ that makes the leader what it ultimately is. Mistakes and discrepancies are more responsible (in my humble opinion) for the mettle of an authority than any amount of study, practice and philosophical preponderance conducted through their solitary efforts.
The greatest leaders of our time have actually been those people who have laid no claim to any such title, yet have become teachers of life by their very example of how they themselves learned from those they were expected to teach. The maturity and recognition of the never-ending process of learning is in itself the greatest unspoken teacher of all time.
Tyranny and despotism is the result of claim staked over those who are actually a vital part of the order necessary for that position.
There is such a very big difference between eradicating something and bypassing something. For instance, eradicate that backstage crew and what you have is a holy disaster of a show. But though they have been silently bypassed in the fame and glory departments, there is still a silent understanding of how vital they are to the overall success.
This is the entirety and very nature of self-love and the ultimate act of love, which is sacrifice. They are in themselves aware of their true value and purpose and therefore do not innately require recognition or return. The greatest act of love, surely, is to make a sacrifice in love in complete silence and anonymity with intention of giving something vital and necessary to the well-being and happiness of a loved one or a supported cause. There is no desire to ‘contaminate’ that offering or gift with the reception of personal glory.
Leadership and authority in their truest and most raw essence know absolutely nothing about ‘scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours” or “I’ll help you as long as there’s something in it for me’. Leadership and authority – when geared towards the benefit of whatever is under that leadership and authority – is a silent giver. It is someone who steps aside and loses painfully without recognition so that something better than the self can thrive.
As Shakespeare very poetically put it “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players”. I believe that while we have been on stage, there are things that have happened in our lives for our ultimate good that we have no clue about, and there are silent tears and struggles existing as a result for our beneficial progress. Today, with awareness that any ghosts of my advancement may be wandering at unrest, I give thanks with deep love and respect for their giving without intention of ever receiving anything. I thank the air for it’s love.
The Moon
Do we need the moon or does it need us? Does the moon steal orbit from the earth or does the earth enslave the moon to use it as a reflector whilst standing in it’s own way of the light?
Most often, the things we seek and desire are a result of the things that only we have starved ourselves of. We may not always recognize that we are doing this, but the primal need in mankind to hunt and face challenges in order to thrive is akin to the sex drive which overlays the primal need for procreation. Without struggle we become complacent and weak, and the subconscious time-switch deep in our psyche alerts us to our state of overstayed stagnation. It’s all about phases.
I’ve a belief through the tireless observation of my life and choices alongside the lives and choices of others, that the single base root problem of all existence is the pitfall which is the subconscious drive in life to thrive, continuously pitted against the illusions and mirages of apparent temptation. I do not mean this in a Genesis fig-leaf sense, but in the temptation that disguises itself so well that it is impossible in certain circumstances to see for it’s real ‘worth’.
The Anglerfish is a perfect example of this. In deep dark depths of the sea’s bathypelagic zones, it’s neon antenna sways nonchalant in the aqua, impressing on incoming prey that safety in numbers is close up ahead, and allures the wandering prey to ‘join it’s clan’. By the looks of the teeth and the jaw on that thing, angels and demons alone only know what occurs in the inner experience of the meek creature upon disastrous proximity.
This is the way of the moon. It lies, it steals and it cheats. It casts it’s beams of temptation over our consciousness like the alluring veils of a belly-dancer does to the passion starved nomad in the fire-light of the desert.
Yet, in the cold light of day, the moon does no more and no less than offer what it sells with a hawker’s persuasion. It omits important information as it is not beholden to divulge it, and evades persecution of ‘false advertising’. It is our desperate need and desire to find magic and alternate reality that leads us down the moonlit path toward the cliff edge.
When we have great desire, we have truly weakened to our instinctual senses – and therefore, largely to our survival instincts as well. In the moments that we consider our wishes and set to direct our intentions and supportive actions towards the attainment of those wishes, we most often lose sight of our needs in the lunar haze and silver-bell wind-chimes of our wants. We confuse, so tenderly and abandonly, the goals of our fulfillment with the necessary roads that lead to them.
It takes some self-talk and training to consciously program the self to stay alert and to see the sun at midnight, remembering that the moonlight is merely daylight on the other side of the world.
Coupled with our instinctual survival habits, we often chase rainbows, watching them move farther away the faster we run towards them, and eventually, we end up sitting on some destitute and hopeless rock programming ourselves as to how we will never be fulfilled because of our insufficiency in successfully arriving at our dreams.
Moderation is truly the key to longevity. A little bit of what you fancy in balance not only helps you to appreciate the magic and wonder of the moon, but prevents you from swimming the crag-ridden seas of it’s elusive shores.
Why am I in love with someone who is unavailable? Is that just the moonbeams? What is it that I really need? Is it really because I don’t actually love myself properly yet? Do I need to be rich or am I trying to hide away from something that is lost inside of me? Do I want money to survive or for the power that it brings? What is the hidden cost of obtaining that power?
If we stand beneath the enchanting light of mystery and desire, yet remember to honour our internal hunter, then we would see the sun in the moon. We would make choices based on what can make us grow instead of wither. We would come to understand that temptation is no more and no less than the way we are aiming our arrows at the wrong targets. To be free from the temptation that destroys us, we must remain focused on our survival so that there is no desire. When desire is satiated by way of realized necessity – by way of striving for what we actually need, mankind will reach peace. Nosce te ipsum.
Abuse
The common thread that runs through every abuse story that you hear about in the media is not deviated from any personal stories that you may encounter from any trusting friends who choose to confide in you. Victims of rape most often feel responsible for the horror of the experience, oppressed and threatened by the exposure of the humiliation and the possible ongoing threat from the attacker.
Sometimes, as is most usually the case with serious bullying, the victim becomes the same as inflictor through a deeply distorted sense that the only way to shed the rage and distress of the injustice is to subject others to the same so that life no longer seems so unfair and unbalanced for them. In some cases though, it is just through a deeply disturbed condition that the trauma has marred their psyche.
Nothing can excuse or take away the devastating actions and their legacy that such grievous activity produces. As beings who are granted choice, there comes with that choice a responsibility to consider action before it is taken and to choose not to become what is hated. In a tragic and desperately unjust manner, the act of the attacked becoming deformed into the attacker is supportive and pro-active to the acts which destroyed their innocence and freedom. It’s like an addict jacking up in a bid to quit heroine.
I’ve had the opportunity in my life to be an ear and a shoulder to cry on for many victims of all kinds of abuse (and for some who think they were abused but were merely spoiled). The innate sense of hatred that they have expressed towards anything that resembles what they experienced is what you might consider as the most frightening thing to encounter – like a cold, dark, soulless and lifeless conscience over the retribution of others.
I’m not sure if it’s my calling in life to be placed on the path of such people, but the universe certainly has a way of reminding me that this is an occurrence that it intends to repeat time and time again. And so I feel I’ve become quite seasoned in my outlook and my reactivity to it.
Men, particularly with hidden sexual orientation who show an adverse disgust to same sex experience have often found themselves to have been abused as children, and therefore assume that their outward expression of their sexuality is not only supporting what happened to them, yet a result of what happened to them, and therefore the belief that anyone in the world of that sexuality is naturally prone to abusiveness. The sorts of attacks that you can experience from such a person are far more regular and ongoing than the one or two attacks that may have scarred them in that way. They are non-violent, but deadly. They aim to fritter away at your sanity and your success, attempting to crumble you with attack after attack. They are the invisible pins in you, who has become their invisible voodoo doll unto the world. You become their subliminal channel. They are blinded to the irrationality of the fact that you are open and honest about who you are because you have nothing to hide or feel guilty about, unlike the hidden natures of people that abused them.
This of course is not the only arena. Men and women alike living in abusive relationships often lose their sense of self-worth, becoming desperately insecure and afraid under the vicious lies and programming of a controlling or addicted partner. In many cases, they have to adopt the same mentality in order to successfully communicate, rationalize and protect themselves.
Abuse is an inheritance of decay. A poisonous injection in to veins of human life. It is a legacy of hatred, resentment and deep loss of character caused often by predeceasing infliction.
It is often people who would appear to lack a complete sense of worth and self-respect and who sport a willful and rebellious attitude of self-centeredness who are the victims of this disease. Not always, but in most applicable cases. The attitude that is displayed by them is often infectious to their surroundings, and causes the rise of the same, latently in others who are susceptible and vulnerable to ‘vampiric’ types of energy.
I do not condone and never have condoned any form harm being committed on another human being. Often feeling like I have no such power myself, I include heart-breaking (though this can often also be an unwitting and natural pain that life requires for positive growth – like fire for the re-generation of fertility).
There is one hell of a lot of severe pain out there in this world of ours. When we are subjected to it, we often feel the impulse to return hatred or anger, considering only how we are being affected, and not caring enough to see beneath the surface of what is causing it all.
In my opinion (as always), I think that when people use the word ‘love’, yet fail to actually love people because they use the word to more actually describe only the good that ‘feeling’ it is doing for their own life, there is actually no presence or recognition of what love is – which is often suffering and impossible measures of strength and sacrifice.
Sometimes, you have to appreciate being hated enough so that you can show the people who hate you that there is hope – whether they choose to feel condescended by that or not. Everybody needs somewhere to turn. We can’t spend our days amplifying energy and activity that we are passionately desiring to obliterate. The first thing that we should try to achieve is to instantly look for a way to heal those who wound us – not by destroying them, but by bringing them back to life.
When people hear the word ‘victory’ the first impulse is often to associate it with triumph achieved in some form of warfare or battle or competition. Of course this is a most appropriate and common use of the word but like so many other words, there can often be other associations which are less frequently included or remembered.
Because of it’s usual connotations, the word implies a great sense of glory enjoyed and often displayed at the surmounting or defeating of a trouble, opponent or difficult life factor. What is not always considered is that the feelings that come with victory are not always those of joy, elation and empowerment. For example, a judge or jury involved in a legal battle might make a decision in favour of justice or victory for the appropriate party, yet that decision could come with the possibility of an errant injustice or the experience of witnessing great distress for parties involved or associated with the non-victors. Absolutely this can be said about all things in life, and arguments could arise about not caring about what can’t be changed or what does not directly relate to the personal circumstances of life.
I’ve come to see the classic “it’s their problem and not yours mate – let them deal with it” as one of THE most defeatist attitudes that can be displayed by a human being. I don’t make such a brash statement because I feel that everything in life is our business or that we can do something to change many things beyond our control, but because of the subliminal programming that such an attitude has on the subconscious.
The reason so many things go wrong in our lives is a direct response to the way we don’t deal with them correctly or how we fail to recognize that what effects us, effects everyone.
There are some days when I truly believe that every man and woman is a victorious hero if they made it through to witness the sunset because of how awful life can truly be some days. I feel that we should be claiming personal victories every day that we simply do not recognize as triumphs.
I believe that we are all equal in the sense that sometimes in life you get less than you deserve and sometimes it is evened out by you getting more than you deserve. I don’t deny that moments of glory can fill one with immense pride, especially if that victory has been hard won. But I think it is a very great mistake for anyone to feel superior to anyone else at such a time. Because this is an illusion. Firstly, this sends a confirmation signal to the subconscious which reaffirms the fact that the self feels inadequate and needs some great sense of overpowering others to claim stake to any validity or lacking self-worth and that, without that victory, there is no appreciation of personal power or self-worth. Secondly, the fallacy exists because where one may win on an occasion, another will claim that win in the face of their defeat on another occasion. The wheel is always turning.
Human relationships are the most complicated things. I’ve never understood the desire for people to make others feel jealous. I don’t believe that feeling jealous over someone is what actually makes someone realize how much they love that person. There is no such thing as jealousy involved with real love, only protectiveness. I believe that the jealousy game is a high form of psychological manipulation when used that way, and I believe that feeling it is an indication that the concern is more over the person who feels it’s ego. I have in the past felt raging jealousy over people, but each time I have come to a personally irrefutable conclusion. It has always been my sense of insecurity that was responsible. And in any event, when I recognize someone attempting to make me feel that way on purpose, all I see then is someone attempting to feel superior because of my discomfort at seeing attention averted from me. I’m not your everyday person, I’ll admit, but I’m definitely confirmed to myself in my personal rationale. If I feel pain over someone as a result of fake jealousy, I rarely look at that person with the same impression again, and that is a real shame for me. I find it to be the ultimate turn-off.
I believe that only one true victory exists in life. The victory of combatting yourself, and the victory of having the power and strength to let go of what you really love when you know that it serves what you really love for the best.
Impressionism
For this reflection I’m just contemplating a rhetorical question:
Is the key to life – the meaning and secret to controlling our destiny – in the single act of transforming our impressionability from controlling us to us controlling it, and the simple awareness of how much true freedom the submission of accepting inevitability gives us?
Conviction
There are two types of recognising truth. One where a deep conviction has convinced us that we have awoken a profound epiphany, which is the answer to a life, changed for the better. The other is recognition of the seeming sensibility of what we are facing and therefore a desperate desire for the promise of that truth to penetrate us to the core thereby becoming an integrated subconscious belief.
It is most often when we are experiencing the latter when we feel the need to convince others of the plausibility of a theory because, in doing so, we are subconsciously needing to reaffirm our investment in the concept through other’s approval of it which can remove subconscious doubt.
Human nature is a very complex set of contradictions. Often, we desire to share goodness from the impulse of us being recognised for assisting with the discovery. Sometimes though, beautifully, we desire to share our findings with love for our fellow beings because our conviction has arisen from a deeper place within us which transcends research, lecturing or preaching. We feel that we have been transformed and there is a deep desire to offer the experience to those who we truly wish to be free from the pain of struggle and confinement.
I believe that belief is a conviction, which does not require selling to somebody. I believe that the insistance of trying to sell truths which have not been fully assimilated by the seller of them to be responsible for war on our planet. I believe, equally, that those who misinterpret the intentions of those attempting to share their personal truths through love are also responsible for that war, because they show the world a disdain for control, yet no recognition of the good behind intention – only condescension.
Belief is the butterfly effect, as much as reactivity to it. I believe that the only way to reject anything with honesty is to know what you are rejecting. Adversely, I believe that the only honest way to sell something is to know what you are selling.
Perhaps the reduction of religious warfare is a better understanding of the very vast difference between belief and true conviction. The former is an impression and the latter is knowledge with the experience of living that knowledge.
Futility
Don’t be too hard on yourself. Life is rigged. Appreciate what you can do and don’t waste your life trying to impress others. They are too busy trying to impress you for approval ( or not caring what anyone else thinks ). Everyone is speaking whilst you are. What you think you are striving for is reserved for you or ‘taken’ from you long before you reach it or don’t reach it. You will always end up with exactly what you deserve even if it’s only eventually and even if it does not feel like it is the case. Life is harsh. Accept that and choose to find ways to be happy.
When people refuse to acknowledge that we are all connected they forget that their own lives are run by the decisions of others no matter how much it appears that they aren’t.
It is futile to worry, even though it is a natural impulse, because your worry was more often created by someone elses decisions over your fate than you are aware of anyway. It doesn’t matter what you do or how hard you try, it will be futile. This is something that will never ever change. It is not futile to just get over that.
Your position is an illusion, your status is an illusion and your outer value is an illusion. The only truth in life is the truth in you that no-one else can get to or touch. Cultivate that. Worry about that. Love that. It can’t be rigged or controlled. It is the only absolutely non-futile thing to do in your life. Love you…properly. Outside life is a direct extension of inside life.
Don’t learn not to care. Learn to care about the right things.
‘Magnetics’
Beauty is NOT in the eye of the beholder. It is in the mind.
Mental magnetism, like so many other ‘phenomena’, has enjoyed a less than worthy acceptance by general society over the ages – probably due (at least in the greater extent) to a lack of scientific proof or explanation. We are only learning more and proving more about the ability of the mind to attract and repel certain things into our lives due to wider understanding caused provisionally by technological evolution.
Mental attitude can be considered to be the facade of the mental state. There is really no difference between this and any other physical state, which is often caused by a non-physical state. For example, when we are heartbroken – a state of non-physical emotional influence – we see our world and our lives brought to a standstill. The effect takes it’s toll on our abilities to perform and to continue with our lives in a beneficial manner. At the very least for some time.
A none-seen state of energy can very much direct, control and manipulate a seen state of energy (physical form or object). It is some wonder that we have grown through societies that find fascination and ‘devilry’ in the ability of people who can cause physical alterations in solid material objects with the ‘mere’ ‘powers’ of the mind. Not only is this absolutely possible, and proven so more and more in our modern technological age, but couldn’t be further from devilry if it tried – unless it is not harnessed or not used beneficially. In that instance – like anything potentially harmful if not tamed – it can become quite malevolent. In the reflection of it’s plausibility though, I still feel the most succinct explanation exists in the film ‘The Matrix’, where the child informs the character Neo that it is not the spoon that he is bending with his mind, but rather his mind that is bending.
The unseen state of beauty is one of these forces. Cosmetics become the face of attractiveness for the mind that cannot bend just in the same way that the remote control probably became the weapon of the lazy. Both work in the same fashion. They present an easier option.
It must be said that I do NOT dislike the miracles of cosmetics, because not only are we hard wired as human beings to appreciate physical beauty, but we are also unfortunately the product of a society that places a massive emphasis on it and we have had this drummed into our subconscious since even before we were born (atavistic nostalgia). The point I am making here is that cosmetic attractiveness has very little, actually, to do with beauty.
A couch potato will attract more laziness by employing the remote control, just as a cosmetic queen will attract the eye of those who need to be presented with visible attractiveness more than those who seek to look deeper and find it within a person.
The most shallow people I have met during my life are those who not merely appreciate physical attractiveness (which there is absolutely nothing unnatural about), but those who cannot accept something as beautiful if physical attractiveness is not present. They are usually people who cannot feel beautiful unless they feel that they look it and it becomes ‘easier’ for them to find it by visually enjoying it.
True beauty has nothing to do with physical attractiveness. It is what I term as ‘magnetics’ instead of cosmetics. A devastatingly physically attractive person completely repulses me and loses all my respect if they are ugly on the inside. I am not ensnared or tempted by them in the least. Someone who is not classed as attractive by society, or maybe even by my lazier eye, but who emits inner beauty can be intoxicating for me. I believe that this is the magnetic pull of my mental attitude towards beauty. Like attracts like.
The ‘goldilocks’ state is of course for there to be radiant beauty within and on the outside, but we just don’t live in a fairytale – or at least very seldom.
One thing I do know though, is that if we are to find and keep what we desire, we not only have to become that very thing, but we have to do it, where necessary, by means of altering our expectations instead of our features.
On Earth As it Is In Heaven
There are many beliefs that embrace the idea that each physical object or composition of matter has a clone in the astral spheres. Christian faith recognizes this by succumbing to the Holy Spirit in prayer through an admittance that control of the physical plane is under the power of heavenly beings. Wiccans, who’s rede is ‘As above, so below” embrace the idea that in order to create change in the physical world beyond the capacity or possibility of physical action, this change can and should be caused in the spiritual realm first, thereby causing the actual change in the world by means of ‘shuffling’ or altering the astral counterparts around.
Pseudoscience also claims to celebrate the nature of this phenomena originally through Kirlian photography which was the precursor to Aura photography. Though controversies surround this still, there have been many accounts where astral imperfections in the aura have actually foretold bodily afflictions, such as cancerous tumours, long before these growths have physically appeared. It was then even discovered that a large similarity between cancer patients was apparent in that they were often bitter people who had tendencies to swallow their words and withhold their true emotions, thereby causing them to ‘fester’ within the psyche and take a physical toll on the body. Anger festering is truly a fermentation of possible atomic proportions. The eventual pain often transcends emotion into physical agony.
There is a far more natural and guaranteed process that takes place in existence, which requires no more effort on the part of matter than for matter to get out of its own way if necessary. Nature abhors a vaccum. Where there is space created by the dissolution of matter, the previously occupied space is naturally filled, because there must remain a balance in the universe if it’s existential ecosystem is not to come undone.
Under normal and healthy circumstances, the body immediately begins to heal where there is wounding. Great hunger is satiated with the intake of food prompted by urges for survival in the guise of physical discomfort etc etc.
Imagine your life. Imagine that your life has an exact astral counterpart, except on the astral plane, each emotion that you feel is a living object taking up space. In this context, only letting go of a dream, an emotion or a vision which has run its course will free up the necessary space for a new object to form and cause it’s existential presence in your life.
You cannot make room for forgiveness if you choose to hang on to your guilt. It doesn’t work the other way around, because even if forgiven, you may still feel the guilt if you did not let go of it first. You cannot find happiness if you are determined to hang on to outmoded opinions, relationships, desires and grudges which cause you constant unhappiness. You cannot heal yourself or others if you are constantly wounding yourself or them.
You cannot be a man whilst you are imagining yourself as a mouse. (This goes for women as well obviously but saying ‘you can’t be a woman if you are imagining yourself as a wouse’ doesn’t quite seem to sound right lol)
Imagine who you want to be by removing who you don’t want to be and you will become it.
Wishing
You always get what you wish for. In the time that you don’t appear to get what you think you’ve asked for, you get the product of the doubts and mental obstacles you’ve sabotaged your desires with – they are just as much wishes as any. You get nothing because your subconscious chattering has interrupted the conversation and veered the subject away from the goal.
You always get what you wish for. You wish with all your heart that you will get a car for your birthday, and voila! Someone gives you a small box with a bow on top (from Tiffany’s if your faith was stronger than usual) but you retrieve from it a posh key silver chain with a Swarovski Crystal Rolls Royce on the end of it. If you are not absolutely specific in life, life decides to fill in the details for you. On some occasions that is desirable, and it’s called adventure. On other occasions though, it can be detrimental.
Knowing what you are wishing for and why you are wishing for it before you start drawing things towards you in your life transcends preference all the way to sheer survival tactics. If you are starving and pray for bread from heaven only to stumble belly-aching across someone called Manna outside a Charing Cross club after punching out from a bartender shift you’re going hungry tonight.
The reason that people are so unhappy, so much of the time, is a direct experience of not having what they think they desire. Not obtaining what the conscious mind believes it needs spells failure and discomfort to the subconscious mind, which sends the well-being of a person into great unrest and unfulfillment. People get crabby and moody when they lack rest or food, and the situation is amplified a hundred fold when it relates to looking at their neighbour with the fancy car and swimming pool, wishing they could also have that and feeling insecure and inferior for not being able to ‘keep up with the Joneses’.
In my opinion, we live in a direly shallow world. People look to luxury in order for comfort and escape, yes, but some people look to luxury as a means of survival. It seems to imprison them with chains of the inevitable fears that come with debt and having nothing to hang on to once that material comfort starts leaking out.
I don’t mind being somewhat opinionated. Everyone is, and has to be. Judgement is a fundamental part of basic life. Self-righteousness is another story, but this can also be precariously contexted within the ‘eye of the beholder’. It’s as easy to hide behind excuses of being judged as it is claiming racial or sexual discrimination in order to gain preferential treatment.
In my opinion, it’s more important to spend some good time really deciding and discovering exactly what it is that one needs along the road to the ultimate goal because, after all, that is what will ultimately get someone there. If I am not happy about feeling inferior to the next door neighbour because I don’t have a mansion, then instead of trying to rob banks to afford one or stepping willy-nilly over people to get a superior position to make more dosh to buy one, I look at myself and simply ask what is causing my unhappiness to the degree of needing something that ultimately has no real lasting value.
I will never understand how people put every ounce of their energy and faith in the fleeting coin. I’d rather face myself, because once that’s over for me, it’s over.
I have three wishes in mind when I pick up the genie lantern:
- World Peace.
- Freedom for those that I love from the pain and suffering that they feel within themselves.
- As much money as I can get my hands on so that I can help to feed and shelter the poor in this world, because greedy, self-important and thieving fuckers are hoarding more than they’ll ever be able to spend in eight life-times.
I wish we lived in a world where there were no rich people and no poor people.
Clarity
There’s an ancient proverb that says “If a million men do a foolish thing, then it is still a foolish thing”.
Following this consideration, it’s a discerning agreement between the very wise that a man is a fool to make conclusive judgments and indelibly seal opinions about anything until he lays on his death bed. This is because no matter how much we think we love or hate or are indifferent to something – no matter how we can swear we will never find ourselves in a certain situation or in a similar situation again, we often do. Our minds change an awful lot. If they didn’t, there would be no liveable future that didn’t resemble a marble frieze.
Just for the record, I am a fool. But in my defense, so are too the ancient mages fools for drawing a conclusion before they themselves were laying on their death beds. In theory, the idea seems very reasonable, but objectively, well, we can only make up our own minds.
I have come to my own conclusions about some things in my life (hopefully) long before my deathbed, because I have experienced them enough to know that it will never change how I feel about it – only in some cases confirm it.
Betrayal is betrayal. There is no deviation. This single act has possibly accrued more strings of excuses than any other action in life, because it is so tremendously nasty, it needs even fake justification to soften the blow.
I think we have all done it at some stage in our lives, even if quite unintentionally, but it doesn’t mean we didn’t do it because we weren’t aware. We do not actually live in a world where the action is the crime, but the intention is the judge of how evil what we do is. ‘Mercy killings’, ‘tough love’ and ‘manslaughter’ as opposed to ‘murder’ are given greater leniency as they are judged with a handful of compassion stirred into the docks. They are still, nonetheless, acts of killing and hurting.
There are people who know everyone, but do not know (or will not face the truth) that no-one is actually their friend. They call everyone they know ‘my friend’, but for the sake of approval and out of a sense of ‘loyalty’, they betray other people to defend that ‘friend’ when they know what was done was wrong.
Dudes cover each other’s backs with a ‘bro’ bonding to help them cheat on their wives and girlfriends because they’re mates and mates don’t grass, especially over ‘entitled urges of nature’. ‘Friends’ convene to the exclusion of other ‘friends’ to decide what they won’t tell them in order to rescue them from potential hurt if slandered etc. etc. Lists of examples are never-ending here.
Broken promises are broken promises no matter why and how they are/were broken, just like a smashed glass is still in shards whether knocked off the mantlepiece accidentally or flung by force of rage.
Whatever personal judgements people wish to pass over these issues cannot be consolidated I’m sure, but the fact of the matter is that whatever the intention, the act is the act full stop.
I know betrayal and I know it well. I can smell it in someone ages before it rears it’s head into their action. Sometimes I have an easier time forgiving it, sometimes I find it quite impossible, and it is all dependent on the intention.
I appreciate truth. I know that a life lived in complete honesty is, where not impossible, a bloody struggle. Maybe that’s why I am so careful about what I allow into my life. But I can never understand why someone will destroy the heart and love of someone who adores them and will tell them the absolute truth about something even if they know it will make them look bad, in exchange for defending some asshole that is using them for their own gain and ego and doing so much wrong that you’d wonder where the intelligence was for not seeing the blatancy of the superficiality.
When I tell someone that I love them, the ONLY reason that they can have to disbelieve it is an inherent doubt within them about their own worthiness. I have proven my sincerity by other actions in my life.
I don’t have any friends that allow me to do what is harmful to me or who I allow to do harmful things without my lip. There is simply no such thing as such a person in the same sentence as ‘friend’.
And the reason that I have suffered so much in my life is because I have chosen the more challenging path – the path that will always steer me clear of betraying someone to the best of my knowledge, because in my personal experience, there is nothing more painful second to a parent losing a child (I am certain) than being a loyal dog who’s master beats and kicks it.
I’m not dying, but I’m clear on this. That will never change…
Testing, Testing, One, Two, Three…
Why would you want to be in a relationship anyway with someone who winds you up and tests you all the time? It doesn’t mean you have no sense of humour or that you take yourself or life too seriously if you get annoyed and uncomfortable with someone always trying to get an emotional rise out of you. Love is about being realistic but it’s also about enjoyment, and there are bound to be enough fights to balance off the happiness anyway – if the relationship is healthy.
It is one thing to test someone to find out if you can trust them. Sometimes this is because the person gives you mixed signals or some unfathomable feeling that something doesn’t add up. It’s not very likely that this should take months or years to determine. It’s another thing to keep testing someone because you are actually insecure in yourself. This can leave a person feeling as if they will be six feet under one day and yet still being tested.
The big problem with testing people in an intimate manner is that it is actually a game of squash instead of tennis. You may find that after your rigorous examination that they are indeed ‘safe’ and ‘permanent’. It’s possible that the offended and aware person may return your tests as a result of anger or humiliation, but it’s more likely that they’ve known all along what you were doing and have been trying to gain your trust as they know it’s importance to you. But the greatest loss of it is that you will probably have lost their trust because, no doubt, you set traps which look like lies and underhandedness to the other person.
In my opinion, if people who feel the need to constantly subject other people to tests find themselves in a position where it has backfired or lost them the object of their affection, they should pass the ultimate test themselves in order to prove that they can be trusted properly and were simply doing something to satisfy their insecurities. They should firstly forgive themselves for having so little love and faith in themselves. Then they should show the other person that they are actually important to them instead of regarding themselves as a mighty jerk for feeling that they have some great worth for requiring evidence that everyone else is questionable.
You can never take back what you’ve put someone through in the process of your suspicions and skepticism.
It take two people to run a tight ship in the relationship department. If one of the them feels the need to ask the other “who the hell are you?”, then the answer is unfortunately not going to be what it realistically needs to be for a lasting affair, which is “I am you.”
You can’t plan everything in life. And there is a great difference between planning and conniving.
Rights
Of all the misquotes in the world, the most famous is a biblical one which frequently alters it’s repeated meaning not because the words are changed, but some are left out. Money is not the root of all evil. It is the root of human survival in a material world. The love of money is not the root of all evil either. It is THE LOVE OF money which is the root off all KINDS of evil, if the verse is to be recited accurately. Many things are the root of all kinds of evil. This does not make them the root of all evil and neither does the mere love of them make them so.
In the same way, I do not believe in human rights. I don’t believe that we should a) be wasting our time imagining that we have some sort of emancipation from our choice-less happening of existence on this planet enough to imagine that our insistence of segregation from the rules and laws of life and the universe is realistic, or b) that we will EVER be as equal as possible whilst everyone is fighting to be on a different level.
When I hear the words ‘human rights’, ‘animal rights’, ‘gay rights’ etc. It always draws my attention to the real root of the problem and the words that are not being said. The very fact that there is a need for certain factions of the animal kingdom to be given rights speaks of the generation of an oppression which is actually fueled in part (whether inadvertently or not) by the promotion of the oppression because rejection and/or neglect gives in and returns protest. Two wrongs do not make a right. If you want to be accepted, you cannot fall into the trap of fighting for your worth by reflecting back how unworthy your opponent is.
In the next statement, I will speak my mind and make it very plain how I feel about this issue. It is my opinion and my belief. May it be regarded and received as it will by whoever reads it, but I stand quite convicted and set in this view:
Being human is not a right in any way manner or form. It is a duty, because you are without choice but to be human. In the acceptance of being human, must come the acceptance of what is necessary to make a human being function healthily in the same way a car needs oil if the engine is not to burn out.
The most imperative act that a human being can achieve in life is the mastery of self-love. Without this attainment, humans are a danger and not and asset to the world in which they live.
It is your duty as a human being to love yourself properly. You have no choice if you want to stand and criticize the world’s issues without being a hypocrite, because if you are a hypocrite, you are one of the biggest problems the world contains.
A lack of true self-love brings extremes which defile balance and which in turn create suffering. It is the duty of a human being to recognize this by the mere fact that we do not live alone each on our own planet.
The greatest injustice of all is the betrayal and abandonment of this love, because without it, it cannot be spread. It is our duty to protect anything that does not have the capacity to protect itself, because we thrive as a result of many of those things.
You will never love your deity with any humility or sincerity either (if you worship deities) because a fundamental part of spirituality is a recognition of this love, and this, in my opinion, is why you have religious hypocrisy and perversion. This is responsible for our offense in connecting with the divine.
We have no right to an easy life. It is our duty to struggle in life, because that is the only path to true self-love, and the only path to the acceptance that our own lives are not actually our own lives.
The lack of genuine self-love in human beings is the root of ALL evil.
CLOSURE:
I am partly who I am today because of what people who are essentially better people than they chose to be caused in my life. From here on, I am much of the person I actually was before the darkness.
I may never fully escape some of the things I still struggle to accept, but I don’t need to see reaping to feel release. I have so much light on my path and so much love in my life that regrets of the past will weaken.
My life is over, and my life now begins.
I wish mercy and love on all those who showed me what those things actually are, yet who’ve never really tasted either of them for themselves.
I give thanks for the gift of strength, and the use of that strength to be me.
Most of all, I give thanks because I can give my heart away, and yet remain amongst the living…
© Gareth Ramsay 2015
Mastering Wisdom 